building - or finding - community

The people we surround ourselves -- the communities of which we choose to be a member -- can say much about us. Who do we spend our time with? What do we spend our time doing? What are we working for?

I want to be part of a community. I am many things: teacher, friend, future wife, sister, daughter, student, vegetarian, environmentalist, feminist... But I don't feel that I am part of a community. And isn't that something that we all want? To feel as though we belong? As though there are people who share our philosophies, our hopes for the future, whose paths we might cross more than just once?

I've found that all too often, the time I spend and the people around me are not aligning with my vision of myself and my journey. The communities in which I partake are not by choice, but by habit or convenience. By the simple lack of choice. They do not reflect my values. They do not make me feel stronger, braver, brighter. In fact, they often bring feelings that are quite the opposite.

And I wonder -- why? Why am I surrounding myself with these things? With negativity, with gossip, with judgement? With fear, anger, and hate? With four walls that are ever enclosing? Fear. Fear of the brilliance that I can be, fear of facing the unknown, fear of being rejected, fear, fear, fear. Do I want to let myself be limited by fear? Why would I ever want to limit my potential in that way? Why would I ever let anyone else limit my potential?

Yes, I want to be part of a community. But a community of choice. A community that lifts me up, makes me bolder, makes me live more and more each day. Those are the communities that I want. All it takes is a choice.