What's with the "in-group"?

Why do we, as humans, have such trouble with being a member of an out-group? Why do we have such a desperate desire to fit in, to be a part of the 'in-group,' even when the in-group is always changing? And I don't mean a group of friends that you have, that formed around a common interest, or such. I mean the groups that are together just because they are together -- in time, in space.

Close quarters does not have to be close friendships, yet we often pretend that they form. We change ourselves, we wear masks, we laugh at things that we don't think are funny, and pretend to care about things that we don't. We hid our own true interests, and listen to other people talk --- not because we care about them, but because if we don't --- then we won't belong there. And if we don't belong there, where do we belong?

It's strange, because many of us think that we don't have problems being part of a group, or not. I myself was never "cool," and yet when I think back -- there were many times that I was not true to myself in order to be part of a group. Even a "nerdy" group. Some of these people were true friends, with whom I shared laughter and tears. Many of them, though, stifled me. They stifled my ability to think independently, feel independently, act independently. We're so afraid to stand out from the crowd. To be brighter, to think creatively.

Why? Why are we so afraid? Why is it a crime for people to stand out? Why is it a judgment for people to dress strangely, to have weird interests, to be themselves, with no apologies?

I want to be unique. I don't want to be part of a group. I want to be Audra, myself. I want friends, of course, and I treasure the friends that I have. But I don't want to be around people who expect for there to never be disagreement. I don't want to be around people who lower my light, rather than boosting my shine. I want authentic friends, true friends -- to match my authentic self.